Playing With Consciousness

Not so sure.  Im thinking it was persistance.

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Hmmm, where to start?

I got a new laptop for xmas from my honey.

I got a new ipod as well…

Couple new cd’s of “The Raconteurs” and one of “Nickel Creek”.

A stack of new clients at work who have a lot of biz for me.

My finished “about Landon book” from my mom.

A handful of new friendships that seem promising in the long term.

a new stove from my wonderful sister.

Homemade ice cream from my grandparents - there is nothing else like it.

A fresh new look on my world…  the “going inside” part of my personal hibernation is a beautiful thing!

Much more… I will publish a list of “next things” in a couple days.

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I know better, I feel it, I hold the reins…  aggro.  My hold on it slips on occasion.  I do well (most of the time) maintaining my composure under the constraint and restriction these lessons have brought with them.  I want it my way, NOW!  Whats wrong with that???

Well, lets see here…

Besides, getting in my own way, forcing life to do as I wish instead of allowing it to give me something better, making judgments and choices based on ego and impatience - ultimately accepting something inferior to what I really deserve and desire - I get what looks shiny and fun now instead of the long term permanence, beauty and better serving that I would have if I exercised patience.

So, I am in a place of chasing my tale trying to catch up.  FUCK!!!  Frustration is the consequence of impatience.

Life, with its multiple streams of realities all going on at once, I have perfection in a couple areas of my life and other areas are more fucking backwards than when I was 18.  Fucking retarded!

Life is like a rubix cube, you get a couple parts right and fuck up others.  Well, if it werent for impatience and the “I dont give a fuck attitude” of my younger years, it would all be right.  To be honest, its not.  I have a wild streak and I might as well be in a fucking cage - keep poking I am readjusting to get a better grip and whn I do Im gonna rip your arm off.  Course its all my own fault, I needed to accomplish some lessons this go around and put myself further behind than was necassary.  Impatience.  Funking retarded.  Now I have three mountains to climb instead of one.  Thats my life.  If its the last fucking thing I do.

When I  am feeling stuck or in need and my desires aren’t being met I get snappy, shitty, pissed, irritated and aggressive,  sometimes with those I care about.  I dont mean to but it happens, then I get pissed at myself cuz I feel like an asshole.

Aggro, the animal inside gets let out and he bites.

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I apologize… been stuck in my head lately and busy in general.  Haven’t been doing much writing though I have been cultivating some ideas for posts.  Check back in a couple of days.

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Time stands still, it is in fast forward, in a word… overrun.  The cast has all moved on leaving the director behind and alone - pondering a new tale, a story writin from the intention.  The colors all run together and the meaning has been forgotten, what shall come of this?

Time wont slow down, not for one damn minute.  How do we create a new plan when we cant pin it down long enough to examin it?  The well flows within and there we stop, start, rewind and speed it up.

How do we get there?  It’s all in the decision.  Ask and it shall be given, turn and it will be there, there is no time for it is an idea not a law.

Make it what you will, overrun or running over.  I’ve spent too long on the inside out.  This bleeding minds not bleeding much.  I turn on the light, where its life at first sight, I’ve worn the inside out…

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The love behind all that we see,  tis beautiful beyond reckoning… if you stop for a moment, you may catch it.

It’s not there for you, but it needs you to exist.  The love it is, exposes its self, your true nature to be.

The sun’ when its sets behind the mountains and lights the clouds on fire, the way the moon glows, exposing the

the life force of the trees whos spirits are cast as shadow for those who look, to see.

The pain we feel when life seems like an endless stream of bullshit, petty annoyances, frustrating moments and

irritating experiences all in a row one after another.

Stop for a moment.  Look around, be present, be here now… in the moment, you can feel the love of what is real.

The subtle, nonchalant, ever progressing beauty we call life… always fulfilled, always smiling and even when the rain comes and the thunder rolls, lightning and wind with all its fury… life is pure “happy”.  Loving completely, the moment right now, for it expresses what it is, not what it was or what it might be.  Like you and I it must ebb and flow, smile and cry, love and fight, but it is always beautiful and it is always just right now.

When the colors fade and you notice not but gray and the pain and sorrow seem to be all that is, look around and notice…

the love behind all you see.

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Being a dad

Being a grown up

Being in love

Being a red neck

Being a genuis

Being a scorpio

Being spiritual

Being a chef

Being me

Being

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Yep, She Is!

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Nuff Said.

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If I am going to create the life I want, by playing with consciousness, I first need to define what I want and understand why I want it.

This is basically manifesting or consciously creating what I believe to be what I want.  It is also called co-creating, using powerful intentions, applying the law of attraction, being one with my higher self and so on.

Call it whatever you want, we fall into one of 2 categories.  Either you are responsible for what you do and thus what happens to you because you are consciously choosing to focus your thoughts on what you want and therefore you are in charge of your “reality” or you are not responsible for your thoughts thus things that happen to you are not really based on what you really want meaning you get shit on by other people and circumstances, or whatever you call it.

So, back to the main thought…

This is the end all be all “life I want”, not “I want to go to Fiji on vacation, this post is the big picture. And when I say “the big picture” I am talking about my life as a whole and when I describe the vacations I take, it will be that “I travel the world seven to eight months of the year” because “I have enough money to do with my time as I see fit” and “I book my travel based on the experience not the expense”.

What is the life I truly want? Obviously this is going to be different for everyone so we are going to use me (Landon) as the example/experiment.

First we need to do a Couple of things.
• Dream Up Our Perfect Life
• Figure out Why That Would Be “Perfect” (The Feeling We Are Looking For)
• Decide If That Fits With Reality According To What We Believe
• Put That Dream Scenario Down On Paper
• Rewrite That About Five Times

If I can get to this point I can move on in the (action) part of creating it.

My dream life goes like this…

I am turning 40 this year and my life has turned out exactly as I wanted. Ash and I travel the world seven to eight months a year, we live in a castle we modeled after my favorite castle “Wasawo” which sits on a two hundred acre lot filled with trees, a pond several little streams and rolling hills. We have several acres dedicated to organic gardens and have a little farm… cattle, chickens, pigs and of course several pairs of Great Danes - a black pair, harlequin pair and fawn and a brindle. Love my dogs. We have about eighteen thousand square feet in the main building and two large guest buildings and 7 cottages as we have turned our perfect home into a weekend retreat and B & B for like minded people.

We have a full staff of experts who live on the property to help with the gardening, cooking, animals etc. This is home base.

We have several homes around the world in our favorite spots, Ireland, Transylvania, Argentina, Japan, and a couple more on the way.

I am the curator of the worlds premiere auto museum and serve on the board of directors for several animal refuge trusts and dedicate most of my free time to helping organizations preserve our wildlife.

We also love the rain forest and have leveraged the worlds government against itself in a way that we have purchased the land in the name of the generations to come and have seen the deforestation plateau.

My children are in their mid teens and spend most of their time traveling the world with us getting a real life education instead of being stuck in a classroom all the time.

I spend almost every minute of every day with my favorite person, my lover, my best friend and my partner for life, Ash. She is a doctor… she is in love with the mind and how it works and spends a lot of her time, researching, reading and writing… and has become one of the leaders in the field of neuroscience.

I love sitting around the camp fire in the back yard of our home discussing the above topics with people who are also very passionate about the same things. I am blessed in the life I have created and those whom I have surrounded myself with.

See, its not about the attainment of money or the status of having accomplished anything, its about the feeling you experience in being what and who you are. Notice the “being” part of that last sentence? We are not human doers we are human beings.

So, don’t take it the wrong way, I love material things, in that I need to have a home, it might as well be my fantasy home, I need a car, well that’s not a good example cuz I want a whole museum full of cars, I love to cook, might as well have another gourmet kitchen, I love clothes, even though I prefer jeans and a tee shirt I like wearing suits, I love to travel so why would I limit myself to the boundaries of a full tank of gas???

It comes down to the feeling of what you want, and to be clear on that I mean it is about the feeling you have when you experience something.  I have always wanted a certain list of characteristics in the woman I am with… (I went through a process which I will continue to write about on this blog) and have her in my life.   Same goes for about six thousand things I have or have accomplished or have experienced in the last ten to fifteen years.

If you understand that YOU can be the driving force in the creation of your daily experience and you do what need to be done to take those reins and begin to create your true reality I hope I can add to your search for the answers, keep in mind what may be the answer for me may not be the answer for you but the following outline will be the same for all human beings.

First

Figure out what you want?

Why you want it?

What does it (the experience of it) feel like?

Do you beleive you can get it?

Are you willing to dedicate yourself to attaining it?

Can you plan it, create a goal based on it and follow through?

Can you let it go?

If you can do those things, you can have anything you want.

Have you written a post about what you want in life?  If you have comment here and put a link to it in your comment.

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