Landon Porter

Hmmm, where to start?

I got a new laptop for xmas from my honey.

I got a new ipod as well…

Couple new cd’s of “The Raconteurs” and one of “Nickel Creek”.

A stack of new clients at work who have a lot of biz for me.

My finished “about Landon book” from my mom.

A handful of new friendships that seem promising in the long term.

a new stove from my wonderful sister.

Homemade ice cream from my grandparents – there is nothing else like it.

A fresh new look on my world…  the “going inside” part of my personal hibernation is a beautiful thing!

Much more… I will publish a list of “next things” in a couple days.

I know better, I feel it, I hold the reins…  aggro.  My hold on it slips on occasion.  I do well (most of the time) maintaining my composure under the constraint and restriction these lessons have brought with them.  I want it my way, NOW!  Whats wrong with that???

Well, lets see here…

Besides, getting in my own way, forcing life to do as I wish instead of allowing it to give me something better, making judgments and choices based on ego and impatience – ultimately accepting something inferior to what I really deserve and desire – I get what looks shiny and fun now instead of the long term permanence, beauty and better serving that I would have if I exercised patience.

So, I am in a place of chasing my tale trying to catch up.  FUCK!!!  Frustration is the consequence of impatience.

Life, with its multiple streams of realities all going on at once, I have perfection in a couple areas of my life and other areas are more fucking backwards than when I was 18.  Fucking retarded!

Life is like a rubix cube, you get a couple parts right and fuck up others.  Well, if it werent for impatience and the “I dont give a fuck attitude” of my younger years, it would all be right.  To be honest, its not.  I have a wild streak and I might as well be in a fucking cage – keep poking I am readjusting to get a better grip and whn I do Im gonna rip your arm off.  Course its all my own fault, I needed to accomplish some lessons this go around and put myself further behind than was necassary.  Impatience.  Funking retarded.  Now I have three mountains to climb instead of one.  Thats my life.  If its the last fucking thing I do.

When I  am feeling stuck or in need and my desires aren’t being met I get snappy, shitty, pissed, irritated and aggressive,  sometimes with those I care about.  I dont mean to but it happens, then I get pissed at myself cuz I feel like an asshole.

Aggro, the animal inside gets let out and he bites.

I apologize… been stuck in my head lately and busy in general.  Haven’t been doing much writing though I have been cultivating some ideas for posts.  Check back in a couple of days.

Time stands still, it is in fast forward, in a word… overrun.  The cast has all moved on leaving the director behind and alone – pondering a new tale, a story writin from the intention.  The colors all run together and the meaning has been forgotten, what shall come of this?

Time wont slow down, not for one damn minute.  How do we create a new plan when we cant pin it down long enough to examin it?  The well flows within and there we stop, start, rewind and speed it up.

How do we get there?  It’s all in the decision.  Ask and it shall be given, turn and it will be there, there is no time for it is an idea not a law.

Make it what you will, overrun or running over.  I’ve spent too long on the inside out.  This bleeding minds not bleeding much.  I turn on the light, where its life at first sight, I’ve worn the inside out…

The love behind all that we see,  tis beautiful beyond reckoning… if you stop for a moment, you may catch it.

It’s not there for you, but it needs you to exist.  The love it is, exposes its self, your true nature to be.

The sun’ when its sets behind the mountains and lights the clouds on fire, the way the moon glows, exposing the

the life force of the trees whos spirits are cast as shadow for those who look, to see.

The pain we feel when life seems like an endless stream of bullshit, petty annoyances, frustrating moments and

irritating experiences all in a row one after another.

Stop for a moment.  Look around, be present, be here now… in the moment, you can feel the love of what is real.

The subtle, nonchalant, ever progressing beauty we call life… always fulfilled, always smiling and even when the rain comes and the thunder rolls, lightning and wind with all its fury… life is pure “happy”.  Loving completely, the moment right now, for it expresses what it is, not what it was or what it might be.  Like you and I it must ebb and flow, smile and cry, love and fight, but it is always beautiful and it is always just right now.

When the colors fade and you notice not but gray and the pain and sorrow seem to be all that is, look around and notice…

the love behind all you see.

Being a dad

Being a grown up

Being in love

Being a red neck

Being a genuis

Being a scorpio

Being spiritual

Being a chef

Being me

Being